The Silence of Unseen Life.

It’s been almost a year and a half since I began my journey into web development. When I started, I was preparing for the IIT entrance exam, chasing a dream that many in India hold. But even back then, my life had always felt a little out of sync with the rest of the world. As a child, I wasn’t like other kids. Not because I didn’t want to be, but because I wasn’t allowed to be. While other children were out playing, I was kept indoors, with my family worried I’d hurt myself if I joined in. The outside world felt distant, almost unreachable. My days were spent in my room, with TV and schoolwork as my only company. It wasn’t a choice I made, but rather the way things were.

Because of this, socializing never came easily to me. I didn’t have much to say to others, didn’t know how to fit in. Junior high was quiet for me, though I remember having one good friend. Thinking back, I’ve only ever had two real friends in my life, and neither are around anymore.

There’s one memory that stands out. When I was in 7th grade, I was one of the top students, so the teacher made me class monitor. I was young and innocent, not really sure how to lead or communicate with others. It felt awkward and unfamiliar. But I did what I could, and through that experience, I learned a few social skills, even if they didn’t come naturally to me.

By 9th grade, I joined the school’s volleyball team. But like so much in my life, it wasn’t meant to last. I never played in any tournaments outside of town, partly because I wasn’t allowed, and partly because I wasn’t deeply into it. Volleyball was just something I did for fun, nothing more. Eventually, I stopped playing altogether. Around that time, computers started to fascinate me. It became clear that I wanted to be a game developer. And with that goal in mind, I decided in 11th grade to pursue a bachelor’s degree from one of India’s top colleges.

That decision took me away from home for two years, and those two years changed me more than I can explain. I’ll go into that later, but the isolation of those years stayed with me. I lost whatever social skills I had built up. I was cut off from the outside world, and by the end of it, some difficult, painful things happened. Ever since, I’ve kept my distance from people, preferring to stay in my own space. Even now, I live mostly in my room. My neighbors probably don’t even know I’m back home. It’s not something I do consciously, but I suppose I’ve developed a fear of people. Still, I push myself to be as professional as I can in my work. I’m learning, and I know I need to open up more. It’s just going to take time.

Looking back, I’ve realized that you can achieve anything if you’re truly determined. But it’s not as simple as hard work alone. I can’t ignore the role of luck, or fate, or whatever you want to call it. Sometimes, things happen that are out of your control. It’s not about blaming bad luck, but recognizing that there are moments where no matter how hard you try, things don’t go your way. And that’s okay. Maybe it’s life’s way of leading you somewhere better, somewhere you didn’t expect.

The most important thing is to give your best. Don’t get lost in worrying about the outcome. If you give it everything, at least you won’t look back with regret. You’ll know you did your part, and that’s enough.